My Very Special Day…

So it was my birthday last Tuesday the 25^th…

A birthday is indeed a special day for everyone, simply because it marks a turning point in ones life; weather u have a successful or miserable life that doesn’t really matter, this is still your day your new year and yours alone. I tend to remember people’s birthdates and value their worth.

I like my birthday, I like the date, the month and the fact that it makes me feel like a child again, not because it is so much fun or anything, because lately it has become more of a burden, but still… It’s my day!

Nevertheless, ever since I got married it’s been celebrated less and less until it has become just a day in my own head. I somehow tolerated that fact until I had children of my own. I want them to feel like their birthday means something, so like mother used to do I made a big deal out of it… because it is in fact a big deal in their lives and also in mine. This is the day they came out of me and became their own person. Before I knew it, my fist born started ask when is mine and asked about celebrating it, so we’d get a cake and candles and make a nice thing out of it and that became a tradition with both girls. Their birthdays and my birthday are days for us to wait for and to enjoy…

Every few years, even before girls I decide to plan something for myself… I’d book a place, invited friends, get a cake… bla bla bla… I would enjoy someone doing it for me, but life is life; right! It usually is an amazing gathering and my dear husband is always merely one of the attendees, it’s much simpler that way, he would find a way to ruin it otherwise, believe me I have lived through the strangest of his plans… One year he actually manufactured a huge fight with me over nothing and managed to make me cry just to surprise me with a gathering at a friend’s house, one that we spent most weekends at anyways. He said without the fight it wouldn’t have been a surprise… Anyways, this year I was planning to do the same, though unfortunately it was disrupted… do not want to ruin the ending … so lets go back.

I didn’t have many expectations on the day, but the basics, blowing a candle with my girls… mainly because the girls have been counting the days, having my parents over and plan a friends outing that weekend.

The most I usually dread on that day is my parents meeting and my husband and my mother clashing and I would and I would have to walk on eggshells trying to hurt anyone’s feelings… Surprisingly this year my mom and dad were on good terms, the first time ever I managed to get both of them in one picture… well at least they were ok 🙂

Anyways lets start from the beginning… planning the day was a tad complicated, because both kids had training that day and one had school and the other nursery, which is a commute away, I had to find time to get a cake, and set a time for my parents to come over according to their convenience and before the kids had to go to bed… and meanwhile thinking, maybe he (my husband that is) will act like a nice gentleman and offer to take over any of chores of the day… nope he didn’t.

That day I woke up 6 as usual, took the eldest to the bus and then decided fuck it, I did not drive the little one to her nursery and didn’t take either to training and my mom decided to play nice and took my daughters to get the cake and the girls set up some decoration and made me some lovely arts and crafts…

Ironically that day he didn’t go to work (again my loving father of my kids)… well I thought, maybe that was for me, but noooo, when I asked he said because he felt really tired he and over worked and worn out and wanted to rest for the day… that made more sense, so thanks but ok! But one things I had to do, go get copies of my daughter’s birth certificate from the most bureaucratic institution there is… while I was going down I told him, again thinking he might do the honors, but who was I kidding…

Come midday, after I came back from my hour and half chore, he asked what I wanted to do for my birthday, I told him: I’m getting cake for us and my parents and nothing for tonight and that I’m going to plan it for the weekend so if you’re going to plan something now, please don’t, I do not like last minute. He said, no, I’m traveling for the weekend… Oh really, so u can just pack and leave, work be it or fun whenever u fucking choose and it has become a given that I am the only one taking care of the kids, that I don’t travel, that I don’t do shit… I have been taken totally for granted to that extent!! Fuck! And now even a birthday party I cannot plan because he’s not here and I am still the married single parent!!! I just sighed and told him, then can you just please take the girls to get me something, even if symbolic so that they would understand the idea of gifting… He said: Of course, that was my plan already… brilliant… beautiful… Well that was not the case, he fell asleep for around three hours and the kids had to wake him up to blow the candle, came out for a few minutes and then disappeared in the room right away… maybe he was uncomfortable because of my mother, maybe he had some important work thing and maybe he was just an asshole… who knows!

Tow days later he texted that he is planning something, which again he started inviting people last minute, but anyways it was nice of him, so I thanked him… That day I had to beg my mother to babysit, take my eldest to training, which finishes very late on that day, run home after, get dressed and hurried there just fashionably late but not that late… he came around an hour an a half late, turned out he forgot to invite most of my friends claiming because he had loads of work, it was a last min invitation so the ones he did couldn’t make it except for a few and the ones who showed up were mostly his friends, who kept asking where he was…

Anyways it has been almost 5 days and still did not take the kids for the gift… I should’ve just bought myself something and told them it’s from them and their dad…

So that was my very special day… at least my girls and parents were nice to me… and the number of people who called or texted with loving messages surely made me feel much better and very special. Is it so childish that I wanted to feel special that day?